Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tired and Wondering Why

I had just a wonderful weekend; great fun without cutting into my hours for sleeping at all.  The last two nights I got to bed at a decent enough hour.   But for the last few nights and tonight I am bone tired and wondering why.

 So I run through the things which might be the cause.  Ok, work stress always does that to me and this week I have my share.  As last week marched on I got an increasing feeling that I might just be on the job market a lot sooner than expected and it would not (and still will not) surprise me to get a two week notice on Friday. 

 I work on a contract basis and it is absolutely understood that if the project work is not there then, with notice, I will be gone and not in the least sour about it.  That is why they pay me the “big bucks” – I am a hired hand with no benefits that an employee might have.

 I normally don’t worry about such things.  Never had too much trouble finding a job and I have a bit of money put aside in case I have a bit of time between contracts.  However, I just came off a 5 week unpaid holiday and I also just finished “2008 the year of the Big Spend” (see earlier blog for details.)  Also, these are tough times, so who knows how much trouble I might have finding another contract job? 

 Maybe I will be unemployed for a while… Not a pleasant thought – well – it would be more pleasant if this were April or May – I could be happy enough about some time off over the summer. But February and March – not on your life!  Just enough time off so that I would end up starting back at work during the nice summer months and end up not taking any summer holidays because I had so much time off earlier.  So maybe “job uncertainty stress” is making me tired.

 God knows there is enough bad news which is in our ears every hour of the day.  Markets down, jobless rate up, City has to spend more on welfare but they have less money, so taxes have to go up,..  it goes on.  Maybe I am suffering from “bad news stress”.

 Or maybe it is more than that.  My boss is a bit erratic and while yesterday I thought I might be given my walking papers, today she called me in and led me to believe she has a bunch of stuff – at least enough to keep me busy for a while and (more importantly) has found budget to cover me.  However, true to form, she is making me dizzy with her thoughts about what should be done and when and so therefore I could be suffering from “boss stress” also.

 Hmmm, come to think about it, there could be another reason I am tired.  I have had a stretch of weeks (when I think about it months) of dinners and nights out week days and week ends and I am starting to want to just spend some time in calm reflection and solitude.  Need to work on that one – might be “social stress” that has me tired.

Or maybe it has to do with single and dating up/downs confusing and confounding me.   I am "out there" as they say, and sometimes things are far more complicated than I think they should be - or maybe I just make them so.    Maybe I am having "single but dating stress"

 No, I think the real reason is the WEATHER!   It is wonderful and warm and the sun was shining and snow is melting and I walked home today without hat, scarf or gloves!!!   You might wonder why that would make me tired.   I am a spring/summer gal – I tolerate winter only because I get out there and get active in the weather not out of choice, but out of self defence to make the time pass and not give in or be beaten back by the nasty thing that it is!  Such nice weather and it is February!   For sure by next week we will be in the -20 degree temperatures again.  Hell, next week?  Maybe even by the weekend we will be back to the deep freeze. 

 So I think it is weather stress.  Ok, it is probably everything combined, but it makes me stressed and stress makes me tired.

 So if you excuse me I am going to have a nice bubble bath and crawl into bed!


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